absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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