i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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