That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
