just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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