Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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