i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
