Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
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