Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
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Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
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I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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