their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
