is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's blow job season.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
