Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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