Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
