U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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