Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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