either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
