Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
