Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
