What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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