After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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