Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
