You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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