Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
