Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
