I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
