sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
