also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
