Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
