Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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