and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
