You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
