no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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