Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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