there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize