i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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