So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
this beer tastes like vomit already
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
