I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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