He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
