I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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