i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
