I saw his package. It spoke to me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
