I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
