Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
