i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My liver just had a heart attack.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
