you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
