Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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