do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
