how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
