wrigley field is MILF paradise
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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