You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
