Small penises have feelings too.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
