I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
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And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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