that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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