No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
