Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
